Thursday, March 27, 2008

A dumb Hoover institution article, purified. First in a series.

This Article was referenced on James Nicoll's livejournal. I read it, and it pissed me off.

This is the outline of the article:

Par 1. [Claim: Religious western monotheists value the material world less that they would otherwise because the material world exists by grace of diety and can end in apocalyptic catastrophe, rendering an imprudently high valuation pointless.]
Par 2. [Claim: Rationalist unbelievers don’t believe that the material world bears a discount value due to unpredictable, supernatural catastrophe.]
Par 3. [Claim: Rationalist unbelievers do believe in unpredictable, natural or manmade catastrophes.]
Par 4. [Financial markets are complacent and grow, due to a belief in Progress.]
Par 5. [Financial actors ignore the world except for the parts they parse for profit.. They ignore bankrupts who incessantly predict apocalypse.]
Par 6. [Doomsayers are dyshedonic and are ignored in practice because they bring market players down, man.]
Par 7. [Financial markets rationally ignore incontinent doomsayers because financial markets wouldn’t exist past doomsday. Better to plan on no doomsdays.]
Par 8. [Financial markets shouldn’t continue to ignore incontinent doomsayers because its irresponsible to ignore incontinent doomsayers, whether they are invoking the Apocalypse of St. John or the splitting of the moon by Wolf-Rayet neutrino beams. The claims of incontinent doomsayers do apply to financial markets, because some kind of catastrophe will occur.]
Par. 9 [The market must consider conditions necessary and in total sufficient to avoid natural apocalypse, because there might be no apocalypse and therefore markets will develop in the absence of an apocalypse.]
Par. 10 [A necessary condition for apocalypses are that they are global. Globalization is global. Good globalization might not be the global condition necessary to avoid apocalypse.
Par. 11 [Globalization means the promiscuous mixing, cultural familiarization, mercantile intermingling, of nations and ethnic groups until ethnic and national groups no longer exist. Globalization annihilates ethnic and social difference, because it forbids social exclusivity. Globalization enables secret global cabals of global elite masters, who function at the expense of local cabals of local masters.]
Par 12. [Globalization conflicts with existing conditions.]
Par 13. [Globalization has progressed, and has reachieved a level comparable to that in 1913, right before the First World War.
Par 14. [Because it is in conflict with opposing factors, globalization will either succeed or fail.]
Par 15. [Many people believe globalization is bad because it helps terrorists and criminals. Separation between peoples is a present necessary condition for peace, and globalization annihilates borders and distance, bringing war and tyranny. Good globalization should avoid war and tyranny, depending on the ease of war and tyranny and the fallen state of Adam’s seed.]
Par 16. [There are many different kinds of anti-globalists. Antiglobalists are all wrong because they want to globalize anti-globalization. Combinations of antiglobalisms are self-contradictory, and some antiglobalists are secret judeo-bolshevik capitalist globalists.]
Par 17. [Some people, atomically, can pretend aloofness from globalization, but not everybody, and no countries or nations.]
Par 18. [The people divided or united can’t end globalization by choice or positive action. Globalization can only end by accidential catastrophe or war. This would suck for everyone, so ending globalization would be bad.]
Par 19-20. [The hegemonic west has reified globalization as the means to peace and physical safety for 400 years. Globalization is Hobbes’ Leviathan, thanatophobocratically murdering the natural world and its classical virtues for a Lockean inheritance of civic passivity and social artifice through global systems of trade and commerce.]
Par 21. [Thalassocratic Britain was the first globalist imperial commercial Leviathan. The filthy European globalist Hegelians and Bolsheviks fatally undermined Thalassocratic Britain with arms and war through the teens and twenties, because they wanted an end to conflict in a glorious perfect globalist future.]
Par 22. [The West fetishizes globalization, despite repeated disappointment, because globalization is the West’s tool for global dominance, as shown by the history of financial markets, where failures of globalization mark tremendous crises.]
Par 23. [Modern financial manias are caused by misapprehended globalization, and the liquidation of bubbles are caused by the revelations of globalizations difficulties. John Law’s system and the South Sea Bubble were the first examples of the misunderstanding of globalization and through happening retarded the progress of globalization.]
Par 24. [The progression of booms in various transport and communications industries further illustrates the false consciousness of globalization. The progression ended in 1930 and the world recoiled from globalization for two decades.]
Par 25. [The unlimited but uncertain possibilities offered by globalization excite financial actors to folly. Boring static local things don’t excite financial actors.]
Par 26-8. [The biggest bubbles of all, both real-estate, in Japan and the US, are also caused by globalization. The Japanese bubble was caused by globalized millennialism for Japan’s Hegelianly perfected corporate management. The American boom was enabled by global enthusiasm for America’s centralizing globalism. This boom applies to other centers of globalization, like London, where the filthy unbelievers are buying all of the blood-blessed soil.]
Par. 29-30. [Bubbles are getting stronger and more frequent over time, especially recently, when more have happened than ever before, and worse, and repeatedly in the same places, though aversive conditioning and inexplicably absent stupidity would indicate otherwise. This is because all bubbles are the same bubble, which is the modern enterprise of globalization itself.]
Par 31. [Now is different from before because the failure of globalization will end humanity, and this is the last, greatest, and most buoyant chance globlization will have.]
Par 32. [Globalization will end somehow, and chance of it ending should modify the expected value of securities, because the failure of globalization would render securities worthless, or at least highly volatile.]

Par 33. [Insurance, the ostensible tool of hedging against apocalypse, can’t hedge against apocalypse and even the insurers are admitting as much.]
Par 34. [Recent volatility marks the frequent alternation of conscious boundless optimism with depressed, inchoate existential anxiety. People are taking greater risks because they only have faith in the promises of the Global Beelzebub.]
Par 35. [The prospect of imminent death commands attention! Some things hope against hope for good outcomes. We all do!]
Par 36. [The threat of global catastrophe is also a threat of personal catastrophe. Existential anxiety on an individual level drives anxiety in the mass, which drives the volatile swings of the globalization project.]
Par 37. [Labor, technological, and financial investments in true globalization are the best investments against bad globalization.]
Par. 38-40 [China will be good for the world as long as its citizens produce more ever more cheaply and don’t compete with all the rest of us for resources and new industries and markets. But Chinese workers are not getting cheaper and they are using too much of our oil. This hurts us. But cutting out the Chinese would be bad. China offers a lot of promise in unpredictable ways.]
Par 41-2. [China is just another one of the fairy tale promises of globalization, because China’s rise depends on the contradiction of outside globalization harnessed to internal anti-globalization.]
Par 43. [The Internet is another of the tools of globalization. The Internet robustly defies boundaries and grows.]
Par 44-5. [Volatile beliefs about the Internet are informed by technological fairy tales, because the chance of failure is so great in any particular bet that bets are being made badly. Also, betting on globalization by being stupid about the internet is stupid. It is hard to both be smart and right. There are lots of big, smart, rich people in the Internet, and most of them might be making extremely stupid decisions.]
Par 46. [The key to good globalization is defense against bad technological things, and also security. The aforementioned big smart rich people aren’t investing in security.]
Par 47-8. [Hedge funds bet on predicting the volatility of financial assets, and will succeed if civilization doesn’t end. But most hedge funds are run by smart people making dumb decisions based on bad information or bad kinds of globalization. They gamble a lot, unless they are looking to do good by doing well. Most aren’t, and enable each other with autistic, sphexish decision-making and perverse manipulation.]
Par 49. [We can’t trust investors to enable good globalization through historical investment methods. Investors ignore too much bad globalization, which multiplies the risk of catastrophe.]
Par 50-1. [Can good globalization satisfy all desires? Does globalization inherently imply bad globalization? No, and yes, because autonomous individuals can be commodified, abused, and depersonalized by amoral cosmopolitan Judeobolshevik capitalists.]
Par 52. [We are presently too stupid to construct good globalization without risking total catastrophe.]
Par 53. [The people who will do well in the future will be the ones who can measure the cost of apocalypse. But the smart people don’t want to do this.]
Par 54. [Even if we wanted things to end well, they won’t. It will all end in tears in universal revulsion against false consciousness, the belly lint of the globalization canard.]
Par 55-6. [The Universal Revulsion has begun. You can’t fight it, because you are dumb and will make bad choices. Things are looking good for the end of the world. Oil, Saudi, blacks, INFLATION.].
Par 57-8. [Things might get better. Globalization might work. The horse might sing. If it doesn’t we all die. But only you can make the right decision. Too bad you’re too stupid.]